An unexpected metaphor

‘Busted Flush’ had an exciting outing at the seaside last weekend. It was given a rehearsed reading on stage by a cast from the Stables Theatre, Hastings.

This was an enriching experience, hearing the words come to life, and it beautifully tracked the emotions of Laura’s desperate journey.

Talented and incisive direction by Jenny Lloyd Lyons threw the spotlight on the dialogue, demanding that the actors use voice and facial expression alone to capture the rollercoaster experiences of a family in disarray. This was a bold move and a challenge readily accomplished by this very able cast.

It made me stop and think.

For it also presented me with an unexpected metaphor.

‘Busted Flush’ charts the fallout when Laura’s menopause deals her a tough hand, poisoning her successful, efficient life with uncontrollable rage. She is unaware of what is happening to her, her family is afraid and bewildered, and that over-used phrase ‘mood swings’ is shown to be inadequate in the face of what becomes a violent, threatening home.

In the rehearsed reading, the words and emotions rang clearly across the auditorium.

The physical violence, however, was not shown.

Laura’s resulting response, succumbing to despair and hopelessness, was also not physically seen.

Then it struck me.

This is exactly what occurs in the lives of women overtaken by their treacherous hormones.

Hidden violence.

Secrecy.

Shame.

So many times I have heard these women’s stories and the refrain is always the same.

‘I’m so ashamed.

This isn’t me.

I don’t know why I’m like this.

No-one else seems to be like this.

I hate myself.

I’m going mad.

I have to hide this.’

Hearing the spoken words of ‘Busted Flush’ without the action made it abundantly clear.

People are talking, the words are being heard, but the physical damage is hidden, not witnessed, kept within the walls of the home, not for public sharing or understanding.

We can all see a hot flush. A stupidly heavy or never-ending period is something women can agonise and share ideas about.

But this awful, terrifying rage is kept hidden behind closed doors.

It is insidious. Dangerous.

Horribly destructive.

It damages relationships forever. It ends marriages.

Hearing the words spoken was powerful.

But we need to draw back the curtain and throw the spotlight on this secret symptom.

And it is, after all, just a symptom.

There are answers.

Women suffering this can be helped.

But whilst they spiral into despair in secrecy and shame, it will remain taboo and locked away.

Turn up the volume.

Share the stories.

Unlock the doors.

End the shame.